January 04, 2007
8:38 PM:
back to life / back to reality
Yesterday was my first day back to the office. I'm excited to be back in the swing of things, even though I haven't made it through a full day yet.
I had my post-op visit on Tuesday and found out Junior was benign and contained hair, teeth, bones, and brain tissue. The brain-tissue thing surprised me, but now I think it's pretty cool. The doctor didn't have pictures yet, but he said he would get them eventually. I can't wait to see!
Although I'm glad to be back at work, the exhaustion is causing me to miss social engagements. Blast!
I had my post-op visit on Tuesday and found out Junior was benign and contained hair, teeth, bones, and brain tissue. The brain-tissue thing surprised me, but now I think it's pretty cool. The doctor didn't have pictures yet, but he said he would get them eventually. I can't wait to see!
Although I'm glad to be back at work, the exhaustion is causing me to miss social engagements. Blast!
January 01, 2007
12:35 PM:
reflections
Mom says this year will be better because it's an odd year and I was born in an odd year. I don't get her logic but I'm willing to be hopeful. '06 wasn't all bad, though. I've certainly had worse. Aside from a little heartache, Lisa's cancer scare, and some surgery, there were lots of good things, too.
Like new friends. I made a collection of new friends this year, including Rob, who's still one of my best. The Walk grew a ton and I have new family there.
Though the surgery wasn't a high point, there was a high point there--I saw an outpouring of love from my friends and family and it was really special to know how much they care. It's this kind of thing that shows you who your true friends are. I didn't realize I had so many who fit so solidly into that category.
'06 brought changes at work. Some were good, some weren't, but adjusting to change has been a good lesson for me either way. Things are going to be different by the time I get back, but I guess that'll be a story for 2007, won't it? I feel fortunate to still love my work after all these years.
God has been good to me this year, in spite of how I've treated Him. I've been selfish and lazy and conceited. I've had lousy desires that didn't match His. I followed my own way lots of times instead of consulting with Him first. I sucked at spending time with Him. I had my focus on myself. Yet every day He was there catching me when I was falling (and failing).
So, it's resolution time again. I checked my archives, but I didn't post any last year. It would've been interesting to see if I'd actually kept any of them. Here's what I have in mind this year:
1. Seek God daily. Focus: my purpose.
2. Be more accepting of change. Learn to take hard stuff without making it personal, especially at work.
3. Be less selfish. Remember the world does not revolve around little me.
4. Write down what I spend and balance the checkbook, for goodness sake.
5. And, of course, get skinny again and feel good in my skin. This is going to be the year.
May this be a blessed year for all of you, my friends. I love you!
Like new friends. I made a collection of new friends this year, including Rob, who's still one of my best. The Walk grew a ton and I have new family there.
Though the surgery wasn't a high point, there was a high point there--I saw an outpouring of love from my friends and family and it was really special to know how much they care. It's this kind of thing that shows you who your true friends are. I didn't realize I had so many who fit so solidly into that category.
'06 brought changes at work. Some were good, some weren't, but adjusting to change has been a good lesson for me either way. Things are going to be different by the time I get back, but I guess that'll be a story for 2007, won't it? I feel fortunate to still love my work after all these years.
God has been good to me this year, in spite of how I've treated Him. I've been selfish and lazy and conceited. I've had lousy desires that didn't match His. I followed my own way lots of times instead of consulting with Him first. I sucked at spending time with Him. I had my focus on myself. Yet every day He was there catching me when I was falling (and failing).
So, it's resolution time again. I checked my archives, but I didn't post any last year. It would've been interesting to see if I'd actually kept any of them. Here's what I have in mind this year:
1. Seek God daily. Focus: my purpose.
2. Be more accepting of change. Learn to take hard stuff without making it personal, especially at work.
3. Be less selfish. Remember the world does not revolve around little me.
4. Write down what I spend and balance the checkbook, for goodness sake.
5. And, of course, get skinny again and feel good in my skin. This is going to be the year.
May this be a blessed year for all of you, my friends. I love you!
Labels: family, friends, photos, resolutions, surgery
Christmas is over, the travels are over, the company's gone. There are still holes in my abdomen and there's still pain coming from them. But less of it!
My Christmas didn't turn out too badly, in spite of the consequences. Other than the surgery and being sore and incapable of lifting anything over 5 pounds or getting in and out of bed on my own or showering facing the water and... well, other than a lot of things, it was okay. We made it to the family Christmas at Laurie's, so I'm thankful for that.
I feel like a heathen this Christmas. I didn't make it to church in the morning OR for the Eve service, so my Christmas was all very secular this year. Although I guess my being incapable of sitting in a pew doesn't make the reason for the season any different, does it?
Other than the battle scars, I got what I wanted this year. Mom and Dad gave me my first sewing machine, on which I intend to become a young Martha. Laurie hooked me up with the accessories. It took three of us to figure out how to thread the bobbin, but it's up and running. Now I need someone to teach me how to use it.
I also got lots of fuzzy socks (Mom's favorite), a pretty watch with interchangeable bands made especially for me, a cute bag, a pretty snowflake pin, a cookbook, and a game for wordbrains. I got the annual coloring book and crayons in my stocking, and Mom and Dad actually heeded my wish list and bought me printer cartridges and paper!
I also got lots of pity and attention. You know I love it.
Here are some pictures (click). Nothing too exciting. Disclaimer: I've been lying around in pajamas for days.
My Christmas didn't turn out too badly, in spite of the consequences. Other than the surgery and being sore and incapable of lifting anything over 5 pounds or getting in and out of bed on my own or showering facing the water and... well, other than a lot of things, it was okay. We made it to the family Christmas at Laurie's, so I'm thankful for that.
I feel like a heathen this Christmas. I didn't make it to church in the morning OR for the Eve service, so my Christmas was all very secular this year. Although I guess my being incapable of sitting in a pew doesn't make the reason for the season any different, does it?
Other than the battle scars, I got what I wanted this year. Mom and Dad gave me my first sewing machine, on which I intend to become a young Martha. Laurie hooked me up with the accessories. It took three of us to figure out how to thread the bobbin, but it's up and running. Now I need someone to teach me how to use it.
I also got lots of fuzzy socks (Mom's favorite), a pretty watch with interchangeable bands made especially for me, a cute bag, a pretty snowflake pin, a cookbook, and a game for wordbrains. I got the annual coloring book and crayons in my stocking, and Mom and Dad actually heeded my wish list and bought me printer cartridges and paper!
I also got lots of pity and attention. You know I love it.
Here are some pictures (click). Nothing too exciting. Disclaimer: I've been lying around in pajamas for days.
December 24, 2006
9:30 AM:
the eve
We made it.
The ride was long and hard. Painful. But I mostly kept quiet because I just wanted to get here. I think it might have set me back a teeny bit, because I've generally been feeling better each morning than the day before, but today I'm feeling pretty rough.
It's Christmas Eve, and I'm here with the fam, but for some reason I'm feeling a little depressed today. Everyone's off to church now, but I didn't even bring church clothes since I knew I couldn't sit through a whole service. So it's a little cold and lonely in here now, and I had a dream last night that made me sad and I can't seem to get it out of my head.
Allan and crew will be here later this afternoon and we'll all be together again. I'm looking forward to that.
Does it feel like Christmas Eve to you?
The ride was long and hard. Painful. But I mostly kept quiet because I just wanted to get here. I think it might have set me back a teeny bit, because I've generally been feeling better each morning than the day before, but today I'm feeling pretty rough.
It's Christmas Eve, and I'm here with the fam, but for some reason I'm feeling a little depressed today. Everyone's off to church now, but I didn't even bring church clothes since I knew I couldn't sit through a whole service. So it's a little cold and lonely in here now, and I had a dream last night that made me sad and I can't seem to get it out of my head.
Allan and crew will be here later this afternoon and we'll all be together again. I'm looking forward to that.
Does it feel like Christmas Eve to you?
December 23, 2006
11:20 AM:
fam
Well, I can almost sit up, so we're going to Georgia. I'm a little nervous about the ride... sitting for 10 hours and what bumps will feel like... but I'm bored out of my mind, and if I'm just going to be sitting around healing, I'd rather do it there with my family. So we're going to try it.
Hope to sleep the whole way. See you next week!
Hope to sleep the whole way. See you next week!
December 20, 2006
8:12 PM:
home
I'm home. Junior is dead!
I'm surviving. I'm in a good bit of pain, but hopefully it won't last too long. Sitting is really painful, but lying down and standing up are okay. Mom and Dad are taking good care of me. They're going to the store in a bit to find me one of those super-cool t-shirt night gowns so I don't have PJ pants rubbing on my incisions. My daddy brought me the cutest little kittens from the hospital gift shop--two of them that look just like my actual kitties. I thought it was sweet.
I have pictures, but I haven't scanned them yet. I'm not sure how many people are actually going to be interested in seeing my insides, so I don't know that I'll post them here. Let me know if you want to see and I'll give you a link. The cyst turned out to be bigger than they expected... almost double what they initially said. But they still managed to get it out laparoscopically, so thank God for that.
Everyone was very kind to me. And I've appreciated all of your calls and emails today. It feels so good to know I have so many people who care.
I'm surviving. I'm in a good bit of pain, but hopefully it won't last too long. Sitting is really painful, but lying down and standing up are okay. Mom and Dad are taking good care of me. They're going to the store in a bit to find me one of those super-cool t-shirt night gowns so I don't have PJ pants rubbing on my incisions. My daddy brought me the cutest little kittens from the hospital gift shop--two of them that look just like my actual kitties. I thought it was sweet.
I have pictures, but I haven't scanned them yet. I'm not sure how many people are actually going to be interested in seeing my insides, so I don't know that I'll post them here. Let me know if you want to see and I'll give you a link. The cyst turned out to be bigger than they expected... almost double what they initially said. But they still managed to get it out laparoscopically, so thank God for that.
Everyone was very kind to me. And I've appreciated all of your calls and emails today. It feels so good to know I have so many people who care.
Labels: surgery
December 14, 2006
9:04 PM:
junior
No, it's not a baby.
My ovary is in there somewhere, but it's all blocked by this giant, benign tumor called a dermoid ovarian cyst.
The smaller, white part is the solid part of the cyst. That's the part that is made up of weird, misplaced stuff like skin, hair, and teeth. The bigger, black part is the part filled with fluid. All together it's just over 10 centimeters.
I met with the doctor today. The date isn't set yet, but it doesn't sound fun. We're hoping it can be done laproscopically, but because the solid part is so big, he isn't sure that's feasible. If it ends up being an open surgery, it'll mean a month or more of recovery. Pray with me that it will be the easiest option with the least knifing up my perfect abdomen. :)
And a note on the blogger-beta mess: I've been hearing everyone is having problems with commenting. Blogger just posted a note today on this, which seems to be a common issue with the beta. They said: "Until we fix this, it may work to log in first at http://www.blogger.com/login.g, and then go to the comments page on the new version of Blogger in beta."
December 12, 2006
8:04 PM:
holes, part 2
More holes.I've really been tested lately. I mean that both ways. Lots of medical tests lately... tests that are testing me.
Last Tuesday I received three holes from the doctor's office without a successful blood draw. Yesterday I received three more holes from the lab at the hospital (but at least with success in the end).
When I left the lab, I called my mom and I told her about my miserable experience, the tears, the sorrow, the shame of it all. After I'd told the story, I said I was glad it was finally over, and that I was never going back.
I jinxed myself, because it's now Tuesday and less than 24 hours after I'd said I'd never go back, I found myself sitting in the ER at Grady, crying about a blood test, an IV, barium to drink for a CT scan, and an impending surgery.
Thankfully, everyone was very kind to me. The doctor wasn't going to force me to drink the barium when he saw me in the middle of a panic attack. The nurse was sweet and told me it wasn't my fault I'm a big baby. ;) The IV guy made me laugh all through my tears as he was inserting my IV, which scared me to death. And then they gave me happy drugs, and I drank the gross stuff and did all their lousy tests, and they left me with a diagnosis of dermoid ovarian cyst... a nonmalignant 10-centimeter tumor growing on the side of my ovary with teeth and hair in it. Umm, weird. I'm still trying to read up on this and figure out just where the hair and teeth come from. So far I haven't found any answers.
Anyway, it's been a rough day. But I'm so thankful for all the people who care so much about me. Thank you to my best friends, Lisa and Rob, for leaving work in the middle of the day to come and rescue me and be the support I needed when I was freaking out. And to Pastor Chris for doing his job well. And to Mom for always listening when I call at obscene hours to whine about being sick. And to everyone else who has called today... there are so many of you. Thank you. I feel so special knowing all of you care. I love you!
Labels: friends, surgery, thankfulness